Does Anyone Else Suck At Dating Or Is It Just Me?

I am 100% honest when I say I suck at dating. Please check out this episode where I explain how bad I am at navigating the dating experience.

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0:09

Good evening and welcome to my humble podcast abode. I am Cocoa Griot, just a 50 something who cherishes her time with you to discuss life, love, and a bevy of other topics. In January of this year, I made a declaration that this will be my great year of love. I asked people for advice on how did they date during the pandemic? Well, let me give you guys a status update. It is August and I have failed miserably so far. Tonight, I want to pose the question, Does anyone else suck at dating, or it's just me? In all honesty, I suck at dating for three major reasons. Number one, I've not had that much experience with dating. Number two, I cannot wrap my head around the concept of modern dating. And number three, I'm just not organized enough to create a man planner. Let me share a little background info with you guysMy late husband James and I knew each other five months before we started dating, and then after three months, we got married. The only thing I dated in high school was the ologies, you know, biology, psychology, stuff like that. I had a crush on someone, but they were way too popular for me to ever let them know I like them. I just suffered in silence for four years of high school, college was a different story. I was at the ripe old age of 21 so, it was time for courting as my Grandma called it. I've developed the mindset of when you get involved with someone you date them exclusively. The dating gurus are consulted told me, this is all wrong! You meet and you date a few people at the same time. When you figure out, you really like someone, then you can zero in on that one person. I don't understand this at all. I thought men's egos would not take kindly to such a thing. Then all the what-if scenarios started playing out in my head. What if I like a guy, but he's doing the same thing that I'm doing. He's number one on my list but I'm number five on his list. This is incredibly complex and confusing if you ask me.

2:19

Now onto this concept of modern dating. The dating gurus said I am limiting myself by just looking at men within five years of my age range. I was thinking I wanted someone who could relate to the music I listened to or the movies I like to watch. Apparently, I am way too short-sighted. I should be willing to go as much as 15 years in either direction of my age. 15 years? I feel like on the younger end I'm changing Pampers. At the older end, I'm changing Depends. My silly old desire to meet someone local is out of style as well. They say I should be open to finding love in different states, or even different continents. Well, my response to that was I am not willing to be involved with someone, but still be alone on a daily basis. What's the point? To add insult to injury, I had the nerve to say, I would like to date someone who's gainfully employed because I work. The gurus said I might meet the perfect person who just might be between jobs. I should not be so rigid when it comes to finances. Well since I cannot pay between rent, between car notes, or eat between groceries, I have to leave the men who are between jobs alone.

3:38

Before I share the last reason I suck at dating with you, I want to share a word from tonight's sponsor Db. Db is a Scandinavian brand that makes backpacks and bags to help people on the move stay ready for anything. From the streets to the peaks, Db's gear is travel tested by some of the world's best athletes, adventures and creators. Well, over the past decade Db has designed and developed released, and refined the best bags on the market. With Db's patented hookup system, you are able to attach smaller products to your backpack, roll up, or tote. I'm going to share an experience with you, this is embarrassing, but I actually had a piece of luggage fall apart at the airport before. I had to rush and buy a bag in the airport and you know how the merchandise in airports is not budget-friendly at all! I don’t want anyone to experience that kind of wallet pain.

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4:59

Now let's talk about this man planner situation. I tried the guru's advice on joining an online dating site. I left after a whopping three days. Let me explain why. First of all, my inbox was flooded with messages from people that did not read my preferences, I set those preferences based on age, location, and a few other factors. So when 30-year old Mike was messaging me, I knew he did not pay attention to my preferences. This was a turnoff. Then, let's talk about the people who were in the preferred range, but I was overwhelmed by all the messages they sent. I tried to follow the guru's advice and maintain conversations with a few people. The final straw was when I opened up an Excel spreadsheet and started entering names and information to keep the gentleman straight in my mind. That is when I knew I was about to suffer a crushing defeat. I came to terms with the fact that I'm not wired for this process. I canceled my account, and I've not been back since. I actually laid out a sigh of relief when I canceled the membership. Now if you are up to speed with modern dating, I salute you. If you have tips for me, please go to cocoagriotscorner.com and send me a message. But for now, I'm just going to suck at dating and be at peace with my suckitude.

6:20

Thanks for listening this evening. And as always, I wish you good health, good fortune, and goodnight. Cocoa Griot out!