Three Questions I Have Been Asked Repeatedly Since My Shocking DNA Revelation
DNA neither cares nor knows. DNA just is. And we dance to its music.- Richard Dawkins
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Good evening and welcome to my humble podcast abode. I am Cocoa Griot, just to 50- something who delights in talking to you about life, love, and a host of other topics. Recently I shared episodes about the DNA revelation I experienced. I have very mixed feelings about the situation and I have thousands of questions. It turns out that other people had questions for me as well. I chose three to focus on tonight, and I ranked them in order from least to greatest, in terms of the number of times I've been asked these questions.
The first question I want to talk about is what would I say to my biological father if I could have had the opportunity to meet him? I did not have the chance of course, but if I did the question I would ask him would be, did you know about me? If he acknowledged the fact that he knew about me, my next question would be why didn't I know about you? This is something I have to come to terms with that I will never know the answer to. People I reached out to tell me they had no idea about the situation. My mom's cousin knew that I was not my dad's, but she didn't know who my biological father was. She just knew it was someone other than the dad who raised me. She said my mom never told her. I know the situation was very complicated. I don't have any bad feelings on my part towards my biological father. I just wonder about how many traits I have that I got from him.
The next question I get, so this would be counting down from three to one right. The next question is did I tell my siblings or what did I tell my siblings? You know I struggled to talk to my brother and sister about the situation at first. I felt like I had to walk a fine line because this involves our mother, who we all loved and respected. I did not want the situation to seem like I was casting our mom in a negative light. I also didn't want to perpetuate the legacy of lies that had gone on for 55 years. In the end, I decided it was more important for them to know the truth, and they didn't surprise me with their reaction. They were both supportive and encouraged me. I actually cannot ask for a better response than what I received from my siblings. So the number one question that I've gotten since my DNA revelation, will have to wait because I got to pay the bills for this podcast.
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Now to that number one question I get. The number one question I receive since my DNA revelation is are you angry with your mother? My answer to that is a resounding no! My parents were separated for a while, prior to me coming into the world. My guess is that during that time, my biological father, my mother met, and the rest was history. My mother was 26 years old when she got pregnant with me. There's an endless list of mistakes I made when I was in my 20s I don't have the right to judge her or anyone else. I'm working hard to do my best to understand what she went through during this time and I'm not mad at her. If anything, I'm just disappointed that when I became an adult, she didn't feel like she could talk to me about this situation. Let me tell you about the time that was the perfect opportunity for her to speak up. I told my mom about how my husband James did not learn who his biological father was until he was 17 his grandmother told him on her deathbed who his biological father was. He was stunned but grateful. My mom was in awe and now I know why. What were the chances of me marrying a man that had the same birth circumstance, as I did? Parents being separated, having a relationship with someone else, and birthing a child for the person that they had a relationship with. It breaks my heart to think about the secret my mom carried for so many years. What a burden that had to be for her. We have all sinned and fallen short in different ways.
I have come to the realization, my mom was human. Often as kids, we don't recognize the fact that our parents are human. When situations are challenging, we have the option to be bitter, or better. I am choosing to better myself and not let myself be consumed by something that happened so long ago. The serenity prayer comes to mind when I think of the situation. I have to accept the things I cannot change. I am grateful for the wisdom to know my limitations. Please know that this situation is ever developing, and I may dedicate more episodes of season six to the topic of my DNA revelation. I appreciate your patience and support while I work through this.
Thanks for listening this evening. And as always, I wish you good health, good fortune, and good night, Coco Griot out.
