Are You Aware of the Emotional Vampires In Your Life? Part 2
The controller, the talker, and the drama queen are on deck for tonight’s episode. Think about whether you know anyone like this. Maybe I am the only one who encounters these types of emotional vampires.
Welcome to part two of Emotional Vampires. Tonight I will discuss the controller, the talker and the drama queen. Dr. Judith Orloff describes number three, the controller as a person who dictates how you are supposed to be and feel. I was in a relationship for six years with a controller. I literally felt like I had a joystick in my back, but there was no joy in this relationship. So, remember the names have changed to protect the guilty and I'm just going to call him Greg. Greg had this charm when I first met him, or let me say when I met his representative. The person he pretended to be was absolutely irresistible. He insisted that we spend so much time together, that I didn't even notice how I was drifting away from my friends and family. He became the center of my universe. And for that, admiration, I received BS in return. Nothing I did was ever right or made sense, in his eyes. When I got off work at 4pm, if I took more than 30 minutes to get home, I was cheating. I was timed when I went to the store, to the gym, or anywhere, he was not with me. I became a prisoner. I constantly felt put down and worthless. Then I thought about something my mom used to say. When you get a belly full you will quit. I removed him from my life. But the hardest part of getting over this was the constant failure tape that would play in my head. Whenever I would make a mistake, his words would invade my mind.
Number four, the talker. Dr. Orloff says that the talker is interested in one thing, themselves. Blah blah blah is was scrolls through my mind, like the ending credits of a movie when I think about the talker in my life, Naomi. Naomi will start off the conversation asking how I'm doing. I can barely utter fine before the tongue rocket blast off. There is a verbal barrage of the minutiae in Naomi's life tchat is hurled at lightning speed towards me. I live for the moments when they come in pauses and ask if I'm still there. I always say yes, but I'm usually playing dominoes or some other strategy games, just to survive the word vommit. The talker makes me sleepy. If I don't have another activity happening in tandem with the conversation, I'll be snoring in about five minutes into the one-sided conversation. Some people might ask well why even answer the phone, if you know this person is calling? Well I have to chalk it up to my own internal guilt that makes me answer the phone calls. What can I say? Family is family.
Number five, the drama queen. Dr. Orloff describes the drama queen, as a person who can turn a small incident into off the charts drama. This person for me is Nathan. Nathanmissed his calling and truly should be a screenwriter for a television drama. Nathan has the most unique one up your tragedy ability that I've ever seen in my 54 years of life. If you were scarred because your dog died when you were five, Nathan lost 10 dogs, when he was just one. If you have an unexpected car repair for $200, Nathan has an unexpected auto repair for $2,000. Plus he has a plumbing emergency, and all of his credit cards are maxed out from an unexpected medical emergency. It never ends with Nathan. I have sat on the phone with him, and just opened a bag of chips and found myself all the way at the bottom of the bag by the time we hang up the phone. Then, I am on the search for other CARB laden snacks.
All in all, I have to say that Dr. Orloff not only described Emotional Vampires accurately, she pinned down the reactions they can inspire in the people they interact with as well. I definitely am working on being more diligent and careful about my exposure to Emotional Vampires.
Thanks for listening and I hope you will continue to tune in. I'm committed to making quick listen broadcast, because time is something very few people have an excess of these days. Next Thursday, I will talk about the spy in your kitchen. Cocoa Griot, signing off.